Why am I Here?

Just finished watching my recorded episode of oprah's life class from Friday. I had so many aha moments and fill in the blank questions. Now I'm lying in bed asking Yahweh, what's my purpose? Why did You send me here? When will I know what to do?

I've always invisioned myself doing great things but don't think I'm there yet or even have the slightest idea how to get there. Tonight oprah said "don't focus on what you don't have...start small and just be thankful for your breath." This completely hit home because every day I pray and say thank you for the air I breathe, healthy body, and to have all my senses.  Listening to the show I realized how much I complain daily although I've always thought I don't need or ask for much. I complain when I feel things are out of my control and I don't know what the next moment will bring. She helped me see you can't increase joy in your life when you suffocate it with woe is me or I wish I had...

Now as I watch my life play like a movie real this is what I see...

...I remember when I saw my aunt breastfeed as a child and wonder wow women do that? So that's what these are for?
...watching my cousin give birth to her daughter when I was 18 because she knew I wanted to be an obgyn
...finding out I was pregnant with my 1st daughter and deciding in that moment exactly how my birth would be
...deciding to become a doula while pregnant after running into this girl in college
...advocating for myself and fighting against my midwife at 22yo to deliver my baby vaginally breech
...having my 1st homebirth after 3 days of labor, no pain at all, my midwife not make the birth (bc I dilate so fast) and have MY doula catch the baby
...catching MY first baby by accident as a doula because the midwife didn't trust my instinct
...finding out my great great great grandmother was a midwife in louisiana
...my midwife miss the birth of my 4th child and her assist catch the baby

Oprah said angels come in all forms and everybody has one. My question for my life is have I had many or am I meant to be an angel to those that have been in my movie? I believe midwifery is my calling but I want to learn how to really open my life to accept it and bring it into existence. But in order to do that I must first learn to LET GO...AHAAAAAA