1st of the New Year

Im bringing what I think may be the first Black woman birth circle to the desert! Im so excited!

Stay Tuned...

Here is just a peek of what is soon to come...

1st Round of Newness

As long as my baby prepping "to do" list was, I am proud to say that I have gotten through most of it :)  All thats left is my filing cabinet, "decorate" my bedroom with pics/art/something, and get my birth kit stuff together.  A clean house feels damn good I have to say!  And yesterday I saged my home, said a prayer, and cleared the energy for the newbie to come.

With that said, tomorrow school is back in session.  Our family is going through ALOT of new adjustments this summer: G1 starts middle school WITH uniforms (ugggg...we no like), G2 starts kindergarten and has G1's teacher :) and G3 and I get to spend the month of august together everyday of the week (this is a first I think so I am excited).  It is gonna be QUITE the juggle with new school start/end times, all of which are not the same between the 2 schools, but im glad they will have some brain stimulating fun because I was hardly able this summer with pregnancy.  So while they are learning, im gonna be finishing prep for the baby Yahweh willing: finishing his quilt, finding names, prepping birth space, freezing meals, and telling him to stay in until September please lol.

Dreams

In light of my new edition coming soon (Im 34 weeks now), I seem to be having very vivid and strange dreams.  I have worked tirelessly to declutter my house and Im proud to say Im almost done :)  Last setting up my room and getting my file drawer right.  At this point with the dreams Im going to take a friends advice and sage the place.  Well maybe myrrh bc thats what i have on hand I think and say a prayer for new energy.  I can feel the nesting starting to settle in as reality sinks in that I will soon be a new mother again of baby #4, my first son, maybe my last child, and more hard work.  WOW what a blessing.

Make a Change

I have supported and loved all 3 of my midwives since my first child.  There is nothing better than the midwifery model of care.  If you haven't experienced it yet, I highly suggest you get one for your next baby.  Please take a few minutes to sign the petition below online to that AZ midwives can ask the state to update their rules and regulations regarding their scope of practice.  Its not just about VBACS, its so much more than that.  Women deserve the right to birth how and where they want to in a safe environment.  Please spread the word!  You dont have to live in AZ to sign either.  We have until the end of August to reach our goal.

Help Midwives Serve you Better

Dignity

Amidst everything that has been going on in my life lately, I have been trying my hardest to stay positive.  However, it still amazes me how the smallest thing can make you feel like the gum on the bottom of a shoe.  Today I had my follow up appointment with the OB and she said I need to take probiotics to get my vaginal house in order.  I explained to her that I am fully aware of that but simply cannot afford it.  She looks at me for a minute and says "well they aren't that expensive."  I can't think of the words to describe how I felt in that moment, but what immediately comes to mind is: crap, shit, statistic, poor, ashamed, hurt, broken, angry, and embarrassed.  I mean I am a 33yo mother, of soon to be 4 children, nurse, college grad, and yet I am in no position to provide for my family!!  Trying to save face I found myself once again recapping this whole medical leave debacle and how NOW there is only one income.  But what I really wanted to say was "that's easy to say for a working physician and tell that to my children who barely have food to eat or clothes on their backs these days!" 

Of course my situation is not her fault by any means, but the problem lies in the fact that so many health providers simply don't consider or can't understand the struggle that many women of color face day to day.  She was kind enough to provide the probiotics for me today, however, that followed up with "we will send you a bill for it in the mail".  Sure, go ahead and I will just add it to all of the others that continue to come in that I cannot pay.  Just 2 months ago, I lived a comfortable life - able to pay my bills, meet my childrens' needs, living within our means.  And in the blink of an eye, someone was able to steal that away from me.  Now I am pushed into a corner, living as a statistic having to consider government assistance and food boxes just so we can eat, not to mention how we will pay bills. 

Saga Continues

What a week! My body, this baby, wants to create a story like no other.  The fFn test was positive so I went to the nearest hospital (per my midwifes request) for further follow up, or so we thought.  I cannot even begin to explain my emotions walking up to the triage unit.  What a paradox: being a nurse, but HATING and DREADING everything hospital when it comes to my body and pregnancies.  In my worry, confusion, and all unanswered questions I found myself crying and with my guard up.  As a doula, homebirther, breastfeeder, and midwife user I KNEW what to expect.  Once I got into the triage room an hour later, I could over hear all the conversations and how I became the talk of the unit. 

The inconsideration of hospital culture STILL baffles me, even as a nurse.  I wasn't asked nor was it explained to me "may I put on these monitors to watch the baby and you?"  It was just done as routine.  The doctor got under my skin even more with his condescending attitude towards the fact that I CHOSE to have a vaginal breech birth with my first child who was sitting right by my side, in which i was induced.  He asks "ummm why were you induced?" After my short but sweet explanation he looks at me sideways like "hmmm wow things sure have changed." I asked him what he meant and he said "well we don't induce before 39wks...breech... well that another story" My blood was already boiling and irritated by the fact that I was there, but I just wanted answers and if any time medical intervention was needed, this would be a good case (possible preterm labor at 28wks).  I annoyingly said "yeh I know the rules now (holding back b/c I wanted to say although most docs don't hold back on inductions) but that was 11 years ago and THANK heavens I didn't live in Arizona then. Oh yeah he asked "soooo your a doula right?" I looked at him dumb founded because I never told anyone that.  So I told him "yes and I'm a nurse" looking like whats your point?

He proceeded to then tell me my options in dealing with the current situation because I showed no signs of contractions.  Basically, do nothing but follow up with my midwife in a week.  Forget the fact that I've had cervical change.  I say all this to say, I went to the very spot most families in the world consider "Gods House" so to speak and got nothing more than a hefty bill I cant afford and sent right back to my midwife who is really concerned about me and my babies well being.  My midwives are awesome!  They go above and beyond, force me to be on bed rest, and get results.  The saga continues next week as I have been seen by another OB today, got a scrip for battling yeast which she thinks is causing this problem, so we will see.

Temporary confinement

So yesterdays prenatal went well. I mean my midwife checked things out and it seems my cervix is very soft and dilated to 1cm :O. So no a sista is back on bedrest which is bitter sweet...nice to do nothing but torture to lay on my tail all the time. 

I'm definitely worried a bit because I didn't sleep very well last night. Visions in my head of what could go wrong, how this is my first son, possibly my last child, etc. Its amazng to me because none of my pregnancis are ever dull in action lol. Thankfully the midwife is coming to do an FFN test tonight to put us all at ease I pray. But for now its bedrest and crocheting.

Womb talking

So today was a bit of a reality check for me in that I started feeling "contractions" after my much needed nap.  I woke with a tight aching stomach thinking my bladder was probably full.  But after that relief I noticed my uterus tightening on and off pretty regularly.  VERY unusual for me.  My first thought was NO WAY am I going into labor but I was listening very closely to my gutt.  What do I do? I mean this is baby #4 for me, Im supposed to have this down to a science right?  I chalked it up as Braxton Hicks, laid down, drank water, and rested.  My conscious was telling me not to panic but also not to take it lightly.  After about 5 hours I decided to at least inform my midwife of what was going on, at least to put my mind at ease I guess.  My hunch seems to be right, but thankfully I have a prenatal already scheduled tomorrow to make sure because this baby has been giving me major pelvic pressure, pubic bone soreness, and just hard to walk.  I dont want to be a wuss about it all LOL, but a part of me is like "hey, is anybody gonna pamper me this go round??"  Thats a damn shame I know, but being pregnant is supposed to be just that and I haven't got an ounce of it.  I need it and want it because after the baby arrives you know everyone forgets about me lol.  Ok I guess I best get off the puter now since I still feel tightness every now and then.  Time to rest.

Hot momma!

Who says pregnant mommas lose their swag?! I absolutely love Jill Scott! Not just for her amazing voice, but because she keeps it real. Motherhood comes to us all as what it is...a miracle. There is always a lesson in it no matter the path. I think its so astonishing that her baby boy came to her at 4:20pm on 4/20 and while she was in the motherland filming "The #1 Ladies Detective".

Natural Iron Supplement

Unlike most iron pills, Floradix does not cause constipation and is an all natural source. I highly recommend it for pregnant moms needing iron increased.

Iron Gate

Many pregnant women battle the increasing need for iron and often gag at the thought of taking the ever constipating iron pills. I am a firm believer that the best way to get nutrients, especially iron, is to eat a WHOLE diet as a WAY OF LIFE. Sometimes we need a supplement to help. Black Strap molasses (BSM) is a great natural supplement, a byproduct of sugar. BSM is a great source of Iron (needed for energy), Calcium (bones, teeth, digestion), Potassium (heart and muscle function) and Vitamin B6. 2tsp a day is perfect! For all those pregnant mommas that love coffee, here is my substitute recipe:


BSM Mocha
2tsp BSM
Boiling water
Soymilk
honey/sugar to taste (optional)

Measure BSM into a coffee mug and fill the mug half way with boiling water and stir. Then fill the rest of the mug with soymilk and stir. Enjoy!

No words needed...(viewers discretion advised)

http:/www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmqlOi-LxYA

Movin all Around

I will officially be 36wks tomorrow! I was so inspired and in awe by this video that I just had to share it. I have the same thing going on all the time as my little princess gets her groove on in my womb. I always do something special during my pregnancies, so I think I will do this for the 3rd baby. I hope you enjoy the amazing creation that Yahweh has created in us as women :)


www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMpMoeIgwoQ