Here and Now

It seems as if midwifery continues to cross my path in some form on a continual basis, but then it just passes me by. I am uncertain as to why I am being ignored. Maybe I am driving it away subconsciously? I currently on this huge Suze Orman kick and watching her DVD this morning reiterated just how important words and feelings are in your life. For the past two months I have been wallowing in my sorrow simply because it makes me feel good and for some strange reason I feel like this is too much. Realistically, trying to have positive thoughts ALL the time is just too damn hard! However, continuing to dwell on the negative just keeps your frame of mind there - stagnant and unproductive. I am a realist. I am sick and tired of working just to get a check and pay bills that I cannot afford...I am ready to turn things around and pray that Yahweh blesses me understanding. What is the right choice? What moves should I be making?

I am preparing to take the GRE now thanks to my best friend...no my sister...Sara. Smooches! And with this I am applying to the Sac State ASBSN nursing program. Only 40 candidates are chosen...WHEN I get accepted in February, I will sell the house making a profit and prepare to move back to Sac at the end of the school year. That is my plan...I have put it out there. No more BS, I am too damn old for this LOL.