Why me?

The infamous question that everyone asks themselves at least once in their life when times get rough...why me? After a tumultuous day yesterday, I sat at home wondering this same thing. My tiny little world seemed to crumble before me as I learned that I failed my final, am broke as a joke, and my plans didnt work. They say "good guys always finish last" and I sat thinking that is so true. But why? I mean it baffles and amazes me how some people get to go through life unnerved, clueless to daily struggles, and have the "world" in their hands so to speak! I mean, I didn't grow up in the ghetto (well I did for a brief moment), but I have lived through many financial struggles and continue on my own journey. I asked Yahweh, "why do we keep getting knocked down? We don't ask for much, we just want to be comfortable!" But, who am I to question His power. Scripture says that He will not give us more than we can bare. I think that going through constant struggle makes us blind to our strengths. Yahweh has blessed me with the independent spirit to complete undergrad while working two jobs at times and learning to be a virtuous wife, birth a breech child vaginally through my determination and drive, be an astounding doula to women, go back to school to reach my aspiration of becoming a midwife while working full time as an employee-mother-and wife, and the list goes on.

Yahweh does work in mysterious ways. I was watching CNN this morning and listened to a letter a woman from New Orleans wrote. She talked about how they have been forgotten: they have recieved no help from FEMA or their homeowners insurance. They walk around trying to put their lives back together with their own two hands. Life is full of unexpectancies, but you have to stay in prayer as hard as it may be sometimes.

I guess I am just trying to say that life goes on no matter what. I am a strong woman! I can do anything that I put my mind to. I have never given up and I won't start now. Its time to reestablish my priorities and find out what is really important to me. Right now I am faced with motherhood once again and right now that takes precedence. Do I give up on my dream? No, I just have to alter it a bit, but I will get there. I am not guaranteed tomorrow, so I chose to live for today, in this moment. I am going to love the one Im with, embrace my family, and keep pushing on. Please do the same!