When one door closes, another one opens

2008 has been a bit of a tornado for my family, but I absolutely love the lessons I have learned. Sometimes I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest as we lost my nephew and my maternal grandmother within a months time. I imagined that one day this day would come, but I never thought it would affect me the way it did. It hurts to lose the ones you love because you feel like you will never get to love on them again. However, I feel like Yahweh renews their spirits in a new life: when one soul dies, another one comes to life. For some reason, Yahweh chose me to be the vessel to nurture this new life. As I sit 9 weeks pregnant, I am excited by the prospect of being a mother again - smelling that baby smell, breastfeeding, naming him/her, and having my midwife catch the baby. While at the same time, I find myself asking Yahweh why now...when im about to start nursing school and planned to celebrate my graduation by going to Brazil?? But I remain prayerful that Yahweh will make a way giving me the will to continue on my path I set before me. Children are not a hinderance to our plans, but rather a ray of sunshine that reminds and leads us to why we are on the path in the first place. Brazil might not be in Yahweh's plan for me right now but I know that I will travel the world very soon. I can feel it in my blood. Family is the most important thing in life and you have to cherish the moments daily because they will be gone before you know it.

So, as a midwife in training, I am proof that our birth - our children- make us the midwives we are to become. This new life is giving me another layer of birth experience to take on my journey and I say thank you and I love you always, mommy.