Path

With every midwife that I talk to, they all say "if you are in it for the money, this is not the path for you". I have pondered over that time and time again because I truely feel that midwifery is my calling. Why? In the way that I have been blessed to birth, becoming a doula, and catching my first baby - I kept my cool and just ran through the process in my mind. But most importantly I have learned that I come from a legacy of midwifery - my great great grandmother. Its in my blood!

Moving to the desert, my sole intent was to purchase a home...check...and finish nursing school. Why have I been here for 4yrs and still haven't accomplished this goal? There is just no excuse to me, but I know that I can't control everything. I have been trying every avenue to get where I want to go. Ironically, one day my midwife told me that she feels I am supposed to be on a different path to midwifery...Hmmm now as much as I would love to be a homebirth midwifery and practice traditional methods, I feel like I would be a stronger as a CNM being an example to more women of what can be done when you put your mind to it. Plus I feel like there is a place for medical intervention and that it should be used in the proper context, NOT as a standard procedure treating pregnant women as sick patients who could die at any minute. That just produces fear and that is what the medical society wants. Ooops I digress into my rage against the machine...anyway I am trying my damndest to get tothe place I want to be...helping mothers bring forth new life in a caotic medical society. So what is the path for me? I pray that the path has me on a train to Sac State RN program this summer.