Quality of Life

I just got word that my great grandmother passed away this morning. I feel like I should be balling my eyes out, but for some reason I have never been a crier over this. Maybe its just Yahweh's way of helping me to see the joy in death? I don't know, but many have shunned me for not getting all emotional. Maybe I just haven't lost someone close enough to me yet? I wasn't that close to my great grandmother - probably because my grandmother has over 30 grandchildren, plus great grands, and great great grands, so where does she begin. She was, however, the most spunkiest woman I know at 90+. I remember her chewing tobacco carrying her mason spit jar and her spirit of life. I hope to be like her when I get there. I am turning 30 soon and about to freak out over that so I have a lot to learn from her. She has touched us all and may she rest in peace.