Here I Go Again

I got the job! Well its temporary for right now with the possibility of going permanent. For some strange reason I'm not that excited. Selfish? Ungrateful? I'd like to think not. I believe these emotions come from feelings of abandonment, worry, and anxiety. Anyone that really knows me, knows how much being there for my children matters to me. It comes first in my life. Some friends tell me, "well you gotta do what you gotta do..." That is so easier said than done though, especially for someone that has NEVER had children in this day and age. Being a mother is an honor, blessing, and privilage to me. Why have children if you are gonna throw them to the wolves so to speak? Don't get me wrong, I understand that for some people outside childcare is unavoidable for children under 2yrs old. But, how did I get lumped into this category I ask myself? I want to live as the Jones' being able to frolic with my children and go to mom-and-me classes. LOL. Seriously though, I mean that. I enjoy my time at home away from the hustle and bustle of life. I guess I just have to remind myself that this is only temporary if I keep my eyes on the prize and thrive.

I know one thing...I refuse to settle for pennies to work for the man, come home and care for family with only about 1hour of me time EVERY SINGLE DAY. OH NO, they gotsta pay a sista what I'm worth. I mean I have a college degree, over nine years of experience, and I am DAMN GOOD for heavens sake!!! So its time to stop settling and speak up for what I want in life.