Lately I've been wanting to just crawl up under a rock or something. Its so much easier to dwell on the negative and wallow in your sorrow. Why is that? Its truely like a disease that just gnaws at the sore getting worse and worse. To be honest, living in the desert during summer time only makes it worse for me because its hot and therefore super dark in your house. I don't know about others, but dark houses make my spirit so damn gloomy. So a gloomy soul leads to sadness, depression, self-pity and doubt. That's me in a nutshell.
One small change in life has created a huge monster in mine. Most of the time I feel numb to life, I just wake up, perform my duties, then go to sleep to do it again.
My prayer is that Yahweh pulls me out this misery and helps me embrace the last months of my pregnancy. I love this baby and haven't expressed it enough to it. Maybe solitude is what I need and just don't know it. I need to learn to relove myself again and do the little things that center me so I can center my baby too.
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