Owed to Self

With ever lab practicum comes more fear, anxiety, and nervousness about the job ahead of me as a nurse. In less than 5months, peoples lives are going to be in my hands literally. And unfortunately, due to the medical hierarchy, a nurse will be held accountable before a doctor when there is error and that is scary in itself. With that said, am I up for the challenge? Not only do I owe it to my future patients, I owe it to myself to do what it takes to feel prepared and competent for the job. In reality, that is much easier said than done when you have 3 young ones and a husband at home. But nobody is really gonna give a shit when you have a patient screaming they cant breathe or going into shock my clock and I don't know what to do right? So slacking and making excuses is not an option. I have 2 more days till my Block 3 final and I want it over more than ANYTHING! But I have also vowed to myself to review at least 2hrs/day while on my 2wk break to better prepare myself for Block 4: psych & critical care YIKES & YUCK! But I have to be on my toes and I dont want to be embarrassed period! This will make me a better nurse over all, especially since I dont know what area I will work in thanks to this horrible economy.