Frustrated

I have let out an emotional belting right now. I am sitting in class on lunch break feeling broken, beat down, defeated, and just completely out of it. One of my teachers told me to journal while Im in the nursing program so thats part of why I am letting it go right now. Sometimes I feel like the world is against me - doesnt want to see me succeed. Its almost like I can hear them saying, "damn she is dumb as nails, get your shit together and know your stuff!" I am done talking to everyone else about it - I dont like making excuses you know. Am I really doing all that I can to get a good grasp on this information. My 31 year old mind just doesnt work that well these days maybe due to pregnancy brain. All I know is that it takes me 3times longer to understand concepts, twice as long to read, and I am tired damn it! I know that I chose to have children, to have a newborn while in the nursing program, but can I get some sympathy? I need to be studying every minute to keep up with the other smarty pants in my class that make me feel like a dumb ass. Right now some emotional healing is required...you know the kind where you stand on a mountain top and scream out all the frustration and hurt? Yeah that kind. I have been trying to make more time with my children this block since I neglected them so much in the first, but somethings not working. My grades are suffering. It is do or die this semester...literally no room for error. I have talks with myself and Yahweh almost every minute of the day. I dont know how I am gonna make change but I need it badly. Hell I need a miracle and a pomegranite martini :O