Bad Mommy

My first week back at school and I leave the house daily feeling like a neglectful, horrible mother! I have never left my children at 1 month old EVER so you can imagine. My heart tells me to stay with her and to take a semester off, but my conscious reminds me why I am doing it in the first place. Besides my own self gratification, my "pursuit" is shearly based on the ability to be FREE! Free to have economic comfort, Free to provide my children with things that will make them greater human beings without having to say "mommy can't afford that right now", Free to have time on my hands, Free to be my own boss, Free to nurse my newborn without having to pump a bottle because society thinks we are seperate entities, and Free to enjoy getting up to go to work every day passionate about my calling.

It is hard as hell I cannot even lie. At this point I am taking one day at a time while remembering the Greats that have come before me and have done the same - Sacrificed so their children can have better: My mother, Aunt Lillian, Nana, Rosa Parks, Emmit Till, Winnie Mandela, Betty Shabazz, MLK, Sojourner Truth, etc. Struggle hurts, its tiring, and days come when you just dont wanna do it anymore. But these people keep me going. So in Block 2 (only 2 more to go before I graduate) I plan to surround myself with quotes and pictures of these same struggles as a reminder and upliftment. I am sure I will come to realize that I am not a bad mommy in the end, but one that will go to the end of the earth for her family.

No success comes without struggle

Greatness must be earned, it is not handed to us ~ President Barak H. Obama, Inaugural Speech 2008