Come Down

Be careful what you ask for, cause you just might get it...this is an age-old saying that doesn't change with time. I learned just how true it was last night. I sat planning the weekend with my husband as I mentioned how my doula clients is over due and making progress. I said, "I am excited, but I can't wait for it to be over." Now as horrible as this sounds, I really meant it in a sincere way. When agreeing to support her, I was in a much different place emotionally, financially, and physically in my life. Many things have change and added stressors have overwhelmed me. I was concerned about bringing in my negative energy into the birthing space. I could never forgive myself for impacting a birth in this way. Honestly, I have NEVER felt this way about a birth in my life, so I know it is a product of my circumstances. I kid you not, 5 minutes later...my cell phone rings at 10:30pm! I knew it was her...and IT WAS! She didnt have to mumble the next line that followed before knowing it was time to pack my doula bag and head out.

Despite my own preoccupations with home, she was blessed with a beautiful labor and delivery. My first home birth as a doula and working with my midwife in a professional way. I was excited to see the traditional methods of birthing unfold before my eyes and outside of my own body. This artistically powerful woman danced and spoke her son into existence saying, "OOOOOPPPENNNN....Come down baby!" She used the power of nature: water, fire, and air to center her every emotion. There was a peaceful moment of pushing her baby down that I had never experienced before. No counting...no forced entry...and NO hints towards medical intervention. She was allowed to push the way her body needed and wanted to. Amazing! This is what I was born to do!

Now I am exhausted after being awake 30+ hours, although her labor was only 10. I learned that I cannot make this birthing commitment with young children and no strong community support. I learned that my passion is there because I jeopardize myself financially so that every woman that comes to me can have the support of a doula with her. With all that said...I'm going to sleep darn it! Peace