Panic Attack?

Well first off, I re-took my Nurse Entrance Test this morning!! Yayyyy!!! Finally! I was procrastinating on this big time. It doesn't make much since because I passed it the first time. I think my mothers horrer stories of not passing put me into worry mode. But I am done, Praise Yahweh!

After the test, I find myself flying to get home. My heart is pounding a mile a minute. All the slow pokes on the road are driving me insance. Then I realize, they are JUST going the speed limit. And why are you rushing? So in an effort to calm myself down, I breathe. This is nothing new though. I do this ALL the time. When it comes to others watching my children, I feel guilty for staying out a moment more than I have too. Is this healthy or even fair to myself? Here it is, my baby is being watched by the one soul that helped create her, and yet i worry? Why...that is her father? I sort of convince myself to just chill, until I drive into the driveway...get out the car...and hear this shrill of a cry coming from my house! Now im worried all over again. I walk in from my natural high of test taking and passing into the dreary cloud of darkness which is my home. I open the door and ask what is wrong with her? He shrugs his shoulders with disconcern, frustration, and annoyance. Of course I scoop up my baby and nuture her the way only mommie can. Im pissed beyond belief now!!! But then I realize he was mad about something totally different. So I close the door to my computer room and say to myself..."dont let nobody take away your high right now" and chill with my baby. He left to regain his composure. And now we are refreshed!