Spiritual Upliftment

Times are hard, but that dont ever change. Tests are what make us stronger. My emotions and thoughts have been through the roof and possibly life changing. Why am I so miserable with certain parts of me? Yahweh has put many signs before me, but I am only now realizing them. All this time I have been looking for other people or things to feel the voids in my life. The problem is and has been that I have walked away from His path. I have allowed people to tear down this strong brick wall that took seven years for me to create. This wall of spirituality is difficult to rebuild because it is much easier to indulge in the cares of this life. I am begging for direction and the ZEAL to get back to that place. What once was a way of life for me has become a distant memory on the spots of my mind. I need spiritual direction and the blessings from above, but I am not worthy because I don't provide the simple things He asks of me. No we are not perfect and He knows that, but that does not give us the authority to slack off and beg for His forgiveness. So, today I vow to start from square one and to remind myself that I am going to make mistakes and forget things. But for the life of my children, its worth every obstacle. I have to lay the foundation - if I don't what will they become?