Shhhhh...

Just reading my most recent post, I'm like "DAMN I'm a good writer" lol.  I don't normally toot my own horn but geeze!  Its amazing how life takes little turns especially when you pray on it.  When we state our intentions or desires leaving it up the Creator to manifest is just awesome.

I haven't shared with many because I guess I'm secretly on a huge mission. I can't think of time that I just jumped into something, feeling a bit unsettled about the whole idea, but something in me just says "ehhh what the hell, what have to got to lose?"  Here I am, a licensed RN, applying for jobs since December and STILL nothing!  At times I feel like subconsciously I really don't want that life right now and maybe that is the reason why.  Also, it feels like my son needs me greatly - his attachment to me is strong and i love it.  All I want to do is cuddle him up and kiss on him, something I would be unable to do  working 12+hr shifts in the hospital at night.  But I also feel like now its time to start pulling away umbilical cord a little bit too.

I have applied for grad school to become a nurse-midwife and am now waiting on the answer.  Honestly, inside I'm not worried about the yes or no...I would be fine either way.  I am nervous about the thought of being a midwife or at least on the path.  This is a true testament to leadership and autonomy - life in your hands and your decisions.  I just pray that Yahweh continues to use me as the vessel to bring better birth outcomes into the world against any obstacles I might face.  More updates to come