They say misery loves company and lately I think this was written just for me.  I sometimes hate the person I've become. I often sit and remember how I was as a young woman...outgoing, laughing, driven, and at times uninhibited. But over the years I feel I've lost my way and allowed my presence to be choked by lifes obsticles. As women we try to deny the voices in our heads for the sake of others.  But at the end of the day, the fault is ours.  We have to be the captain of our own ship and not let others hold the stearing wheel.  I recognize my misery and must apologize to those who have suffered at the edge of my sword. There is no excuse for my actions...there is no joy in hurting others.

I'm still on the path to getting better and finding true peace. I pray for the courage to jump in and/or off. This year is about learning how to live.